by
F. Todd Goodson
Lori A. Norton-Meier
Ray Bob
Roberta May Students in an 11th grade American History class
Joe Bob
The Teacher Middle-aged man who walks across the stage from time to time
Chorus Other 11th grade American History students
Stage is a high school library. Ray Bob, Roberta May, and Joe Bob sit center stage facing the audience, an imaginary computer before them. It is clear they are working as a small group. Chorus members sit in small groups at other computer stations scattered around the stage.
Ray Bob: I need a new truck, dude. Let’s check the classified ads.
Joe Bob: You need more than a truck, dawg. You have lots of serious needs.
Chorus: Ooooo.
Roberta May: You guys are so immature. Give me that mouse.
Joe Bob: Man, don’t let her touch your mouse.
Ray Bob: I think he’s right Bobbi. I don’t feel comfortable sharing my mouse.
Teacher from offstage: Let’s get busy in there. Each group needs to present research on the personalities of World War II by the end of the hour. This is for a grade people.
Chorus: Yeah. Right. We’re working. This isn’t enough time. Like, everyone is confused.
Roberta May: Let’s go . . . I wanna get outta here. I say we research Eva Braun. (she types)
Joe Bob: Who?
Ray Bob: Sounds like she’s a bodybuilder or something. Those women scare me.
Joe Bob: No joke. Did you see that show on ESPN? It was on at 2:00 this morning. Dude, those women had muscles everywhere. They were like freaks or something.
Roberta May: Eva Braun was Hitler’s lover . . . yikes! Look at this, Britney got married again? (She clicks the link to read the story).
Joe Bob: Get that stuff off the screen
Ray Bob: Yeah. Aren’t we supposed to be working on a history assignment. Bobbi, you are hindering my efforts to receive an education.
Joe Bob: What he said. Let’s get back to the women bodybuilders.
Roberta May: Please. (she states sarcastically) Who do you think ran the war anyway? Wimpy little Hitler man with his fake moustache that looks taped on? It was all orchestrated by Hitler’s mistress . . . Eva Braun.
Joe Bob: That explains it.
Ray Bob: Yep. (Pause.) Explains what?
Roberta May: That’s my theory. Who has really looked at the role of women in the war? It was all Eva Braun–trust me.
The Teacher [entering]: What are we working on here?
Ray Bob: Um, we were thinking about researching the role of women in the war.
Joe Bob: Right, that one woman. What was her name?
Roberta May: Eva Braun.
Joe Bob: That’s it, about how she influenced Hitler.
Roberta May: About how, once again, the role of women in history has been suppressed by men.
Chorus: Groan. She’s right. C’mon. But she’s right.
Teacher: Eva Braun would be an excellent subject for the personality profile you are presenting at the end of the hour.
The teacher exits.
Joe Bob: Personality profile? What’s that?
Ray Bob: What are we supposed to be doing again?
Roberta May: Hey, check this out. It says here women all over the Third Reich sent Hitler love letters. Like, they said they wanted to have his baby and stuff. Can you imagine? All of these women wanting to throw themselves at him! And he was so gross!
Ray Bob: Dude, I want to be dictator.
Joe Bob: That’s a bad choice of words man.
Chorus: Ooooooooo.
Ray Bob: That’s cute. But no wonder he was so skinny.
Roberta May: Says here he didn’t take up any of the offers from any of the women. He wouldn’t even get married because he thought he was Germany’s bride. It was just Eva, and no one knew about her except Hitler’s buddies.
Ray Bob: Do you really expect me to believe every woman in Germany wanted this little guy and he turned them all down?
Joe Bob: Dude, he really was crazy.
Chorus: Ha, ha, ha.
Roberta May: I don’t think you guys are mature enough to deal with Eva. How about Rosie the Riveter? (She types.)
Ray Bob: Who?
Roberta May: Rosie. See.
Joe Bob: Dude, this woman could kick your butt.
Ray Bob: If that is Eva Braun, no wonder Hitler had issues.
Roberta May: Idiots. I just said, this isn’t Eva–this is Rosie.
Ray Bob: There is nothing Rosie about that woman.
Teacher from offstage: Focus, focus. Time is running short.
Ray Bob: What are we supposed to be doing again? Something with Hitler and women bodybuilders?
Joe Bob: Sweet.
Roberta May: (reads) “Who is Rosie? The original ‘Rosie the Riveter,’ . . . ”
Joe Bob: Yeah, who is Rosie? Is that like Where’s Waldo?
Ray Bob: Man, I was always good at that. If that’s the assignment – I can get us an A . . . I can find that little man anywhere.
Roberta May: Shhhhhhhhhhh . . . listen. (she reads again from the screen) “The original ‘Rosie the Riveter,’ Rose Will Monroe, was a . . . “
Ray Bob: Dude . . . she was a riveter. Cool. (pause) What's a riveter?
Joe Bob: (Bonks him on the head). Don’t you pay attention to anything? That’s why you have so many needs . . .
Roberta May: (continues reading) She “was a Ford employee and a star of war-bond ads. She became an icon that has endured for more than half a century, a symbol of patriotism and strength. Rosie opened a door and millions of women followed. Their pace is ever-quickening.”
Joe Bob: So she went to work in a factory or something.
Ray Bob: Makes sense. The men were all off at the war.
Roberta May: Listen to this (she reads) “She was an icon on the 1940s. And if she seems at first quaint or dated, that’s simply a testament to the profound impact she has had in the decades since. Rosie the Riveter – shirtsleeves rolled up and her ‘can do’ attitude fully on display – took over the jobs the men left behind as they headed off to war. And she never really gave them back.”
Joe Bob: She can have my job. I hate my job. Did I tell you what my boss did yesterday? All I was doing was listening to my iPod while I stacked boxes in the back room. Does that sound like a great crime to you?
Roberta May: Shut up and listen. “But that was just the beginning. By being a part of the workforce, she transformed it, and all that was connected to it. She brought about day care and 24/7 grocery stores. Pants on women, taboo in the days before Rosie, became a fashion staple after. Clearly she helped win a war, but she also started a revolution that reshaped society.”
Ray Bob: Pants? No pants? Are you telling me that there was a law that you couldn’t wear pants?
Joe Bob: Sweet. (thinking) Now that was just for the women, right? It just wouldn’t be right to see you in a dress. That is just wrong. Dude, now I can’t get that image out of my head.
Roberta May: Oh crap! This whole web site is nothing but a lousy ad! (she says in an announcer voice) Coming to you straight from FORD MOTOR COMPANY. What a waste of time.
Joe Bob: See, we started with truck ads and now we have “HISTORY by FORD MOTOR COMPANY” Gotta love it–it’s the circle of life.
Teacher from offstage: Five minutes and then we present . . .
Ray Bob: You’d better get ready Bobbi.
Joe Bob: Yep. Like the teacher said, it’s almost time for you to present what we learned.
Roberta May: Me? Oh no. I’ve been trying to work here and you guys have been clowning around. I’m finished. You’re on your own.
Ray Bob: Um, Bobbi, see, it’s like this. We’re getting a group grade here. Joe Bob and me will do it, if that’s what you want, but I don’t think you’ll like the grade we bring home for you.
Roberta May: I couldn’t care less. I’ve got a B+ in this class. There’s no way this assignment can get me below and B- and that’s good enough for me. You losers are both barely passing. Mess this up, and you’ll be failing.
Chorus: She’s right. You guys are losers.
Roberta May: But I’m sure you’ll enjoy summer school. You guys have lots of experience with that, don’t you?
[Joe Bob and Ray Bob pause to look at each other.]
Joe Bob: I realize now I have made a mistake.
Ray Bob: Me too. Bobbi, we really are sorry we gave you a hard time.
Roberta May: Beg.
Chorus: Ooooooooooo.
Ray Bob: What?
Teacher: I’ll be in to start the presentations in 30 seconds. Everyone get ready.
Ray Bob: Ok, ok. [pleading] I am sorry Bobbi. Please give our report for us.
Chorus: Yes! All Right!
Joe Bob: [also pleading] Me too. What he said.
Teacher [entering]: What are you boys doing?
Joe Bob: We were just rehearsing.
Teacher: What are you, prisoners of war?
Ray Bob: Something like that.
Teacher: Well, well. Then I imagine your group would like to go first so you can find your way out of this bondage.
Joe Bob: Oh that’s just great.
Ray Bob: Bobbi, I blame you for this.
Roberta May: Come on. Let’s get this over with.
[The three move upstage center to the head of the class. Chorus members turn to face them.]
Roberta May: We decided to use the personality profile assignment to demonstrate the importance of women in World War II. Our textbooks and our classes make it seem like the men did everything, and that’s not fair. Women played a big role in the war effort, and to show that, Ray Bob and Joe Bob are going to talk about Eva Braun and Rosie the Riveter.
[Roberta May goes to her seat.]
Joe Bob: Um, yeah. Right.
Ray Bob: Yeah. Well. So first, we looked up stuff on Eva Braun.
Joe Bob: Right. And when you hear that name, “Eva Braun,” you think she must have been a weightlifter or something. I know when I heard her name, I pictured, like, a woman wrestler or something.
Ray Bob: Yeah. Me too. Only she was this puny little mousy woman who had a thing for Hitler.
Joe Bob: They died together in a basement or something, right?
Teacher: That’s right.
Joe Bob: Anyway, so then we looked up stuff on Rosie the Riveter.
Ray Bob: And just like with Eva, you hear “Rosie,” and you imagine some cute, fluffy little woman.
Joe Bob: Only Rosie turns out to look like she’s on steroids or something.
Ray Bob: And she wears pants. Pants were an important contribution women made to World War II.
Joe Bob: Right. They passed a law about pants.
Ray Bob: So we figure these two women are like, what’s the word, they were like their countries . . .
Teacher: Symbols?
Ray Bob: Yes! We figure these women are symbols of their countries.
Joe Bob: Rosie was dedicated to democracy, and she wore pants and got strong.
Ray Bob: And Eva was dedicated to the Nazis, so even though her name sounded all tough and everything, she ended up dead in the basement.
Joe Bob: Wearing a dress.
Ray Bob: And Rosie was back at the factory hammering on a tank.
Joe Bob: Riveting a tank.
Ray Bob: Right. Any questions?