ARTICLES, REVIEWS, ESSAYS, & PRESENTATIONS on TEACHING ENGLISH

 Rhyming Across the Curriculum

By Gregory K. Stanley (gstanley@rcs.rome.ga.us)

Poetry in history class?  Well, why not?  One of my favorite review activities is to have the students compose some original works based on the material in our unit and copying the style of a famous author.  Being a copycat gives structure to the assignment and gives them a jumping off point which helps eliminate start-up time.

We usually start by brainstorming (on paper or on the board) what the most important points of the unit were.  As chic education theorists tell us, that forces them to prioritize and personalize the material.  Next, I pick the author du jour.  I’m fond of e.e. cummings or Edgar Allan Poe, but my students usually insist on Dr. Seuss.  On one occasion, one group came up with a good rap theme to explain the Whig interpretation of political power. [Rap, I tell them, is just Dr. Seuss with a back beat.]

Sometimes I turn them loose by themselves or in groups of two.  When they’re done, I’ll combine their efforts into a single work.  Sometimes, I assign each group a topic and have them come up with one stanza of 2 couplets which we’ll compile.  On one occasion, I gave the students the first two lines of each stanza and they finished it.

Copycat rhyming is an excellent review activity.  It forces (in a sneaky and beguiling way) the students to decide what bits and pieces of the unit are the most important while providing memory keys.  It produces group cooperation and cohesion and lets the other side of the brain work.  The results generally support the common adage that good students can learn the material, but gifted students can use the material.

Dr. Suess Explains the English Reformation

Way Back in England in the 1530s,

Things were rotten and smelling and really quite dirty.

Henry 8 was king, and boy was he blue,

He had no son, “This simply won’t do.”

But he was a Catholic, they don’t do divorce;

And he hated his wife, she looked like a horse.

But the worst thing that she had ever done,

Was to have just a daughter instead of a son.

Henry thought and he though and he thought for a while;

He frowned and he frowned and then suddenly smiled,

Of course! Of course! He shouted in glee,

A wonderful thought has just come to me.

I know the Pope, he’s my good friend you know,

I’ll pack up my bags and to Rome I will go.

To Rome ! To Rome ! Because that’s the Pope’s home,

I’ll go see the Pope in his Vatican home.

I’ll get him to annul my marriage right now,

And then I’ll be rid of my old Spanish cow.

And when I do, I know what I’ll do:

I’ll go back home and find someone new.

Anne Boleyn’s back home and maybe with luck,
I’ll make her my queen, she’s got a nice butt!

And then perhaps e’re we’ve even begun,

Sweet Anne will give me, will give me a son.

But the pope was not happy and said through his tears,

Henry wake up, you’ve been married twenty years.

You can’t get a divorce or even annulment,

Why that’s contrary to both Old and New Testament.

No annulment? Cried Henry as mad as a perch,

Well forget you, I’ll start my own church!

Who needs the pope and his funny white hat?

I’ll start my own church and that will be that.

Now Henry and Anne they had lots of fun,

But they never produced a healthy young son.

So Henry tried harder with wives 3, 4, and 5,

He had just one son, but it didn’t survive.

And when he died, old, tired and fat;

Mary was queen and Elizabeth after that.

Elizabeth ruled a might long time,

And in 1603 she finally died.

The people were sad, oh my they were blue!

She had no son, Oh what would they do?

The people thought for an awfully long time,

And then passed the crown to the family’s Scottish side.

England ’s new church made some people glad,

It made some cry and made them quite mad.

The Church was just not all it should be,

It was still too Catholic, it just must be cleaned.

Some Puritan groups they started to fuss,

They clamored and shouted and quite nearly cussed.

The Anglican church will surely die,

We must cleanse it right now, we must purify.

King James was not happy he was really upset,

These Puritan groups must be sick in the head.

We can’t have these nuts defying the King,

It’s simply not done, It’s just not the thing.

We can’t allow all these dissenting groups,

If they won’t behave we’ll boil them for soup!

We’ll tax them and flog them and drive them away,

We’ll put them in prison, we can’t let them stay.

So the Pilgrims they left , they left in a hurry,

To Amsterdam in Holland the whole church scurried.

But Holland was really a rude shocking place,

And soon the Puritans were looking for space.

So they left for New England to find a new home,

What they really wanted was to be left alone.

Then James died and Charles was king,

He was just like his father, the very same thing.

He hated the Quakers, he hated the Jews,

And all those Puritans? He hated them too!

He said conform or you simply can’t stay,

My archbishop named Laud will chase you away.

So thousands and thousands of Puritans set sail,

They moved off their farms, saying forward my mail.

They crossed the great ocean, they crossed the big sea,

To find a new home where they could be free.

Getting Whiggy with It

(The Constitution Rap)

You know the Revolution was over back in ‘83,

and the colonists were happy, they were full of glee.

They’d overthrown the king and ended tyranny,

they were getting whiggy with it, as John Dickinson might say,

getting whiggy with it.

Absolute power would end liberty.

But their groove didn’t last you know for very long,

Pretty soon everything was going wrong,

they had recession--  and then depression.

Next thing you know it was getting out of hand,

And farmers everywhere were losing their land.

We had Shays’s Rebellion, and people yellin’,

and homeboys lying dead in the snow.

It was chaos, they needed Maalox,

it was frightening honey don’t you know.

But the government they had was just too meek,

the Articles of Confed were just too weak:

they couldn’t get whiggy with it.

No president or army, or even some courts,

No power tax or even enforce.

But Alexander Hamilton came up with a plan,

He was a snotty playa but he had a plan,

he was getting whiggy with it,

in Annapolis by the sea,

getting whiggy with it,

Ya’ll chill and listen to me.

It’s a matter of commerce a matter of trade,

We can talk all day but it won’t go away.

Our government has no power,

it won’t last another hour, We gotta start all over again.

So don’t be hatin’,

Come be participating,

at a convention in the summertime.

Philadelphia in the summertime.

Now a bunch of war heroes they said oh no!

You can travel to Philly but you can’t make us go,

we’re not getting whiggy with it.

Patrick Henry was invited but he just stayed home,

He said he smelled a rat, but what did he know?

John Adams was in London on the seat of his pants,

And Jefferson was gone doing Sally in France .

John Hancock wouldn’t leave his governor’s house,

And Sam Adams by this time was quiet as a mouse,

not getting whiggy with it.

Rhode Island , too,  it stayed home and pouted,

that made little Jamie Madison so happy he shouted!

This just might work, it’ll be mighty fine,

instead of 13 we can have the rule of 9.

We’ll be chillin’ and thrillin’ in Philadelph-i-a,

Getting whiggy with it.

The Constitution will save the Revolution,

getting whiggy with it.

James Madison showed up three weeks early,

He was a tiny man, you know not close to burly.

He wasn’t much bigger than a half a bar of soap,

but he was a genius type who gave us hope,

getting whiggy with it.

He was a nerdy geek that’s what everybody said,

but he had the Constitution written in his head.

Now this is only the beginning of our government story,

There’s a whole lot more but I don’t want to bore you.

John Dickinson  was there and Ben Franklin too,

And George Washington of course was the major dude.

Getting whiggy with it.

The Founding Fathers met for 17 long weeks,

They battled each other and they battled the heat.

Right now I gotta go and take a break,

There’s more to this story, but it’ll have to wait.

Dr.Suess Explains the First Party System

 That Ham-il-ton,          

That Ham-il-ton,

I do not like that Ham-I-Am.

TJ, Would you like a national bank?

I would not like it Ham-I-Am,

I do not like your banking plans.

Would you like it here or there?

I would not like it here or there,

I would not like it anywhere.

I do not like your banking plans,

            I do not like you Ham-I-Am.

How about some excise taxes?

            Or how about if we let,

The federal government assume state debts?

            I’m the genius, it’s plain to me,

I’ll save this country listen to me!

The Eastern banks have too much power,

            We’ll move the capital this very hour.

I want a nation based on farming,

            Ham-I-Am you’re so alarming.

How about a manufacturing base?

            We must modernize, we must make haste.

Our industries, they must, must rally,

            Just go home and ask your Sally.

Would you like them in a house?

            Would you like them with a mouse?

I do not like them in a house,

I do not like them with a mouse,

I do not like them here or there,

I do not like them anywhere.

I do not like your banking plans,

I do not like you Ham-I-Am.

How about an active court?

            Said Ham-I-Am with a snort.

How about a loose interpretation?

            Government power across the nation!

Would you like that in a box?

Would you like that with a fox?

You will like them, you will see,

George Washington always listens to me.

Not in a box,

Not with a fox,

Not with a mouse,

You’re an evil man,

You Federalist louse.

I’ll resign and I’ll go home,

I really must be left alone.

I’ll return to Monticello ,

I’ll plant my garden and be mellow.

I do not like your industrial plans,

I do not like you Ham-I-Am.

I would not could not in the rain,

Not in the dark, not on a train,

Not in a car, Not in a tree,

I do not like you, let me be!

You’re an evil man and a smarty!

I’ll start a new political party.

Me and Madison, and Monroe too,

We’ll build a nation strong and true.

We do not like your banking plan,

We do not like you Ham-I-Am.

We would not, could not with a goat,

We would not could not with a boat,

Not in the rain, not on a train,

Not in a box, not with a fox

Not in a house, or with a mouse,

We do not like you here or there,

We do not like you anywhere.

We will win the next election,

We’ll stop your aristocratic predilection.

We will end your years of hate,

we’ll return power to the states.

But it was sad, don’t you see,

TJ ran but lost by 3.

And worst of all he had to be,

Vice President to Adams oh my! Oh me!

Adams, Adams he’s the man,

Who gave us all the Sedition Plan.

Arrest the Republicans, even the score

Boy! did that make TJ sore.

So he ran again, and on and on,

And this time the presidency he won.

Oh, my goodness what would he do?

Would he start a revolution new?

He took the oath in shoes that laced,

And the Federalists, oh how they quaked.

But TJ smiled and how he did gloat,

He said, relax we’re all in the same boat.

We’re all Repubs and all Federalists,

We’ll  build a strong nation, yes all of us.

But Ham-I-Am did not live to see,

more happy days for the new country.

He was killed in a awful duel,

Shot down by Burr, oh, it was cruel.

And TJ soon came to see,

That politics was not philosophy.

One day Albert Gallatin came to see him,

saying I think we have a little problem.

The economy’s down and don’t you know,

If we don’t fix it, it just won’t grow.

How about a national bank?

TJ frowned and then he squirmed,

He closed his book and threw it down.

I would not could not on a boat,

I would not could not with a goat,

Not in the rain, not on a train,

Not in a box, not with a fox,

Not in a house, not with a mouse,

I would not want one here or there,

I would not like one anywhere.

But Gallatin smiled so sweetly,

He stood on his head and did it neatly.

Tom, I’ve heard this speech before,

You know sometimes you’re just a bore.

We need the bank we need it now,

Don’t throw a fit don’t have a cow..

Sometimes you live on planet Thought,

Sometimes we do just what we ought.

Now other things that TJ did,

Would make a Republican flip his lid.

Like buying Louisiana , oh, what a mission!

But he forgot to ask Congressional permission.

That’s all I’ll say, I’ll say no more,

I fear that some of you might snore.

TJ learned to his surprise,

That politics call for compromise.

Edgar Allan Poe Explains the Marshall Court

Once upon a midnight dreary, I, John Adams, pondered weak and weary,

Over how to make the new Republicans sore–

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of some one gently rapping at the White House door.

“Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door–

                        Only this and nothing more.”

Sadly I remembered, it was in that bleak November,

When Thomas Jefferson had so many votes more–

Now in utter bitter sorrow, vainly I wish to stop tomorrow,

When that Virginian would appear on the Senate floor,

The new president?  A man my party so deplored.

                        He promised revolution, maybe more.

Back into my office turning, all my soul within me burning,

Then again here heard the tapping, somewhat louder than before–

“Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice;

A Republican mob stirred by that demagogue into uproar,

Come to overthrow their rightful leaders.”

                        A new Reign of Terror, maybe more.

Whereupon I checked the door, and there in the black cloak he wore,

Stepped John Marshall, my Chief Justice of just a few days on the court.

“I saw your candles start to gutter, why it seems you are all aflutter!”

“Tomorrow,” said I, “he’ll be president.  The man that I abhor.

                        He promised revolution, maybe more.”

“I fear for my Federalist party; I fear for all men good and hearty,

If this Virginian has his way–

Our programs will be attenuated, with democracy he’s infatuated

How long will our Federalist policies endure?”

                        Said I in anguish, “Nevermore.”

“Oh, if I could find a way, to save our party for a future day

safe from this Republican storm–

When this revolution’s torched and burned, maybe we can then return,

Is there no where we can safely perch?”

                        Quoth John Marshall, “The federal courts.”

“Get to work this very instant, we’ve scarcely got a hundred minutes,

before your term in office is done–

Jefferson ’s mob might be unruly, but there is one place we can truly,

save the rights of our better class:

                        From our safe house, the federal courts.”

Federal judges serve for life, they can be above the strife,

Of this demagogue’s vile lies–

The courts with judges we can pack, thanks to the 1801 Judiciary Act,

We have sixteen districts, plus the Supreme Court.

                        We’ll be safe there, evermore.”

“What,” said I, “of state’s rights power? Can we truly ever scour,

The blight of Jefferson from the land?–

What of his Kentucky resolves, can a state truly dissolve,

All our federal legislation so dear?

                        Quoth John Marshall, “Nevermore.”

“We’ll give the court some powers new, and call it just judicial review,

We’ll assert federal power o’er the states–

We’ll kill the Republicans in the womb, Hamilton will triumph from beyond the tomb.

And soon, the better class will beg us to return

                        They’ll want us back, evermore.”

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